Points are back baby

This was the highest scoring week 1 in NFL history with over 51 combined points per game. The headline was the Bears’ 59-37 win over the Panthers. The Bears could not be stopped on the ground, amassing 291 team rushing yards including a pair of 100+ yard running backs. What will be forgotten in this game is the Bears going for it on 4th and 1 from their own 21 yard line early in the second quarter and failing on a QB sneak. What will be remembered is winning fixes everything kids. These scores were reflected in our fantasy matchups. This is our highest scoring week 1 since we introduced superflex with a median score of 139 points.

Though the median score was way up, the total score was only 28 points above 2022 week 1. However, 2022 and 2026 were 150-200 points higher scoring than any of the intermediate years. Let’s not forget the “have-nots” this week as four teams failed to crack the 100 point mark.

There was also a fair amount of smack downs this week. The average margin of victory was ~54 points, almost double the next closest from the last 5 years.

The data for the above graph was obtained with the help of an LLM. I had previously setup code to scrape fantasy matchups for our league, but didn’t have 2026 yet. Instead of manually writing down 12 scores, I figured a quick Claude Sonnet chat could pull them for me. Yea, that took about 10 minutes of debugging. Sorry that you don’t have clean drinking water Riley, Dad was too lazy to write down 12 numbers.

Waiver Wire

Should I keep calling this section “Waiver Wire” or will we get enough trades this year to call it “Transactions”. If we don’t get some trade action soon, I might start proposing a few in this section.

Sixteen total bids were placed this week. Mack Hollins was the highest earner at $21 to Exciting Whites with no other bidders. Four teams attempted to pick up Wentz with Money Mayfield claiming him for $11. Also sold for $11 was Kaelon Black to Patty Potbellies.

Matchups

Token Female (130.12) swept aside Money Mayfield (98.38). Token Female’s week 1 was put into question early as their top JSN’s QB went down on the first drive. JSN (26.2) picked up right where they left their offensive (defensive?) player of the year season torching $100 million DBs for 122 yards. Like JSN’s slow start to the game, Tyler Shough (25.2) and the Saints were having a rough outing against the Lions. Shough was under 50% completion for 85 yards and 1 pick through the first half. He even started the second half with a second pick and a fumble. Up 21-0, the Lions decided to channel their inner Ohio State and completely lay down on defense. Shough finished the tight overtime loss with 410 yards, 3 TDs, and 25 fantasy points. Money Mayfield had a very up and down Sunday. Like JSN, Justin Jefferson (31.2) played most of the game with a backup QB and still dominated. D’Andre Swift (32.4) cut right through the Panthers defense all afternoon racking up three TDs. However, the rest of the squad failed to deliver including a complete goose from Colston Loveland in a game his team scored 59 points. Ja’Marr Chase (3.2) was entirely unnecessary in the Bengals’ drubbing of Baker (11.64) and the Bucs. Mayfield had an 82.1% completion rate and zero picks, yet a trio of lost fumbles and zero passing TDs left his fantasy score flat. Aaron Rodgers (12.54) was clean on the turnovers and attempted 40 passes, but finished with a fairly predictable 221 yards and 1 TD line. On to next week for Money Mayfield.

Nasty Gworls (157.38) walked past Patty Potbellies (100.32). The Potbellies had an average start to the week with Puka (12.4) on Thursday night and Joe Burrow (15.16) cruising to a victory. They quickly fell behing Nasty Gworls thanks to Caleb Williams (37.26) and Jonathan Taylor (25.1). Nasty Gworls sat Sam Darnold and thus avoided the early exit. Their replacement was Kyler Murray (0.62) who met his own early exit on Sunday with a thumping concussion. Heading into Sunday night, Nasty Gworls had a sizeable lead, yet was against four of Potbellies’ players on Monday night. All hope was shut down as the Cowboys decided covering Isaiah Likely (27.8) was optional. At the very least, the Potbellies’ Monday night players scraped together enough points to crack 100.

Dad of Two (82.16) had a forgettable week against Team Tendonitis (159.06). DT only had three players crack double digits. George Kittle (3.2) was obviously not fully healthy yet and Terry McLaurin (3.4) and the Commanders forgot the season started this week. Starting the Steelers defense (21), TJ Watt had as many TDs as the rest of his team combined (Justin Herbert). Meanwhile, Team Tendonitis had one of the more impressive weeks. First overall pick Josh Allen (35.66) lived up to the billing while Jaxson Dart (26.6) sliced up the Cowboys on Sunday night. To cap off a solid week, Kenneth Walker III (34.1) exploded Monday night for a career high 173 rushing yards and a pair of TDs.

Moore Brown Bouttee (159.34) breezed past $81k Team (115.42). The season opener was slow for MBB’s AJ Brown (5.6) and $81k team’s Maye (12.82) against the Seahawks. MBB pulled away quickly on Sunday. Bijan Robinson (31.3) somehow managed 173 scrimmage yards with Cooper Rush at the helm while DJ Moore’s (21) Bills debut was boosted by a 43 yard TD off a whiff from the DB trying to play the ball. Also impressing in their debut with a new team was David Montgomery (28.9) in the same game with a trio of TDs. Trey McBride (24.5) had his typical stud performance while Cam Ward (11.7) somehow broke double digits despite passing for less than 150 yards. $81k team lamented their 2nd round selection of Drake Maye, but their Cowboys stack of CeeDee (15.4) and Javonte (24.2) carried their weight. The Rams, however, were limited to 7 points which did note bode well for the Kyren (15.5) Davante (5.6) stack. At least Mike Evans (16.9) looked like his old self on the bench.

Too Many Bengals (178.18) more than doubled up Exciting Whites (75.14) in a rare 100+ point beat down. This was potentially foreseeable when Jeff decided to start two Steelers players (Pittman 8.8 / Dowdle 4.1), though the bench wasn’t any more impressive. TMB started hot on Thursday with Brock Purdy (22.1) and the 49ers handily defeating the Rams. On Sunday, the dynamic RB duo of Derrick Henry (35.3) and Jahmyr Gibbs (33.6) combined for 349 scrimmage yards and five TDs. Jeff’s skill position players (6 players) combined for 269 yards and a single TD. As if TMB needed any more point, Dallas Goedert (23.7) found the endzone twice while Ladd McConkey (19.2) was looking his end of 2024 self before getting thrown a hospital ball by Herbert. Even TMB’s bench couldn’t stop scoring with Christian Watson (32.7) sprinting for an 80+ yard TD early in his game and Jalen Coker (33.8) convincing me to start literally anyone that can breathe against the Bears defense this year.

Finally to the lone exciting matchup of the week. Mr. Big Chests (159.8) edged out Keith’s Top-Notch Team (148.82). Keith notably started the draft with back to back QBs in Lamar (24.96) and Jayden Daniels (17.66). A stack with Zay Flowers (26) opened up scoring early for Keith, yet was slowed by a hamstring injury to Flowers late in the first half. Meanwhile, Harold Fannin Jr. (4.1) had a Watson sized problem and Jaylen Warren (10.3) put up pedestrian numbers without a TD. Mr. Big Chests had solid scores up and down the roster with only a pair of players failing to crack double digits. Amon-Ra (28.7) and Chris Olave (28.2) dueled in Detroit while the Trevor Lawrence (26.1) Parker Washington (19.3) connected on a 30 yard sell-out TD in the first quarter. Malik Willis (17.7) looked shaky in his Dolphins debut but added enough of a rushing base (39 yards and a score) to finish as the QB13 on the week. MBC had a sizeable lead as the late window opened up, but Keith’s Aston Jeanty (32.7) showed no signs of the listed ankle injury as he torched Dolpins defenders in the flat repeatedly. Jeanty averaged 4.4 yards per carry and over 7 yards per reception with a pair of receiving TDs. The start/sit decision between Fannin and Dalton Kincaid (18) was the difference for Keith’s Top-Notch Team in this one as the comeback attempt fell short.

Predictions

We started the year off 4-2 while ESPN projections started 3-3. Remember this moment. I may never be in the lead again. This week’s winners are: Money Mayfield, Token Female, Keith’s Top-Notch Team, Moore Brown Bouttee (get Cam Ward outta here), Team Tendonitis, and $81k team.

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