Not close

The average margin of victory this week was over 29 points with the tighest matchup decided by 15.54 points. We only have 3 0-2 teams however with 2 of them playing 2-0 teams this week. Lets work towards the parity we had last year to keep the season exciting. Our points for and against spreads are within 100 points through 2 weeks and ESPN has the lowest probability of playoffs still at 34%. In contrast, NFL teams that start 0-2 have just over an 11% shot at playoffs.

What else is not close, is the 2nd highest scoring defense sitting at 24 points behind Dallas. Thats a larger dropoff than the gap between QB1s and QB2s (Cousins to Baker) and RB1 to RB2 (CMC to Conner). I personally hope that trend breaks after two weeks since I’m against Dallas this week, but they get a nice visit to the tank fest that is Arizona.

Matchups

Am I good? should consider removing the question mark after besting Alan’s (still) One Win Weiners (91.7). AIG actually could have won with just their 7 bench players (95.74). Josh Allen (23.66), Tony Pollard (19.9), and DeVonta Smith (23.1) took care of business supporting a few poor performances from Mattison (4.9) and Chubb (6.4). AIG might be searching for RB help after this week however after Chubb’s season ending injury and the Vikings’ trade for Cam Akers. The Weiners highest scoring player put up 15 points (Rhamondre and Tyreek) which won’t get the job done.

Token Female (141.3) routed The Steagles (94.7). The Steagles reflected their namesake this week with a trio of duds from Miles Sanders (7.7), AJ Brown (6.9), and Derek Carr (6.72). The Steagles similar to the Weiners had their high scorer only around 15 points (Burrow - 15.38), but on the bright side had solid bench performances that should be indicative of future success (Brian Robinson Jr - 28.9; Cooper - 16; Kyren Williams - 28). Token Female was WR and defense heavy this week. After getting goosed from Tee Higgins last week, their patience was rewarded with a 2 TD game this week (28.9). Davante Adams also showed up with a 20.4 day. Token Female capped the week with a solid 23 points from the Steelers DST against a hapless Browns offense after they lost Nick Chubb early in the game

Da Bearers (159.78) continued their dominance this week against Bill’s Bitch (131.62; spelling it out because escaping four asterixes in markdown is annoying). Da Bearers are now the highest scoring team in the league thanks to another great game from the Cowboys defense (16) and a pair of great waiver adds in Zack Moss (20.7) and Nico Collins (27.6). Bill’s Bitch put up a respectable week. Four players dropped over 25 points (Hurts, Mostert, Lamb, and Allen), but at the same time, four players disappointed (Breece Hall, Kittle, Ridley, and NYG DST). Bill’s Bitch has 50 more points for than the other 0-2 teams, and is rewarded with a matchup against the 2-0 Jesus Christ Superstars next week.

The Aforementioned Superstars (133.84) plucked a win from Shave Less, Pluck More (118.3). The superstars were led by their RBs who combined for 5 TDs, 249 yards, and 66.9 points (nice). The Superstars survived a low scoring game from T-Law (9.24) and another dud from Ja’Marr Chase (8.1) but it was enough against SLPM. SLPM was close with many player performances but no player greatly exceeded expectations. Joshua Kelly (3.9) failed to stand in as an Austin Ekeler substitute as the Chargers managed only 61 rushing yards against the Titans. Geno (23.12) was the highest over projection scorer thanks to an overtime thriller against the Lions. That marks 3 straight years the Seahawks and Lions have played close, highscoring games with a combined 241 points!! Lets hope we get to see them play again in the playoffs this year.

Team Tallman Kiss My A$$ (168.48) secured the auto-win this week dropping the highest score against Red Solo Kupp (140.42). RSK started nearly the enitre Viking’s pass offense with a combined 50.5 points from JJ and Hockenson. The other end of those points however went to Kirk Cousins (28.56) for Team Tallman. RSK’s starting RBs (Gibbs - 12.6; Jacobs - 9.9) reflected more of a WR stat line, combining for only 15 rushing yards, but 12 catches for 90 yards. Team Tallman’s RBs however rushed for 242 yards (CMC, DMont, Mixon). Meanwhile, their starting WRs (Deebo/Lockett) and TE (Kelce) scored a combined 4 TDs and racked up the points. Team Tallman bounced back from a week 1 loss and looks to keep it going thanks to being in the worse division.

Trades and Waiver Wire

There were a few trades last week. I have too many shared of the Falcons passing game..

SLPM JCS
Receives Austin Ekeler Receieves Jaylen Waddle
Receives Najee Harris Receieves Saquon Barkley
SLPM Team Tallman
Receives Jimmy G Receieves Austin Ekeler
Receives Travis Kelce Receieves Geno Smith
Alan’s Weiners Am I good?
Receives Drake London Receieves Sam LaPorta
Receives empty bench spot to add players Receieves Cam Akers

The waiver wire was busy for a second consecutive week. A total of 20 waiver claims were submitted totaling $422 in bids (more than last week). Red Solo Kupp guaranteed their acquisition of Jerome Ford with a fat $98. D’Andre Swift was the second hottest commodity at $48 (2nd highest bid $26), purchased by JCS.

Weekly predictions

We followed up last week’s great predictions with a 1-4 week for 3-7 total. ESPN projections only went 2-3 though but sit at 7-3. This week’s winners are: Alan’s One Win Weiners, Am I good?, Bill’s Bitch, Token Female, and Red Solo Kupp

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