Boom week

There were several impressive individual fantasy performers with week. 21 players exceeded 25 points, and six players cracked 30.

For this week’s retrospective on our fantasy league, I’ve plotted the total number of points each of us have scored at each position through the fantasy regular season from 2022-2024. There are likely more elegant ways to display these data, but this is what my sleep deprived ass could conjur up with a baby in my arms.

Interestingly to me at least, the spread on QB scoring is much tighter than other positions, suggesting we all get at least some production from a primary QB even if drafting them late. We see Max Flowers had the fewest points from the OP position, suggesting a lack of depth, or possibly some punted weeks with 11 total wins across those three seasons. Steve has had the best TE success driven by two years of Travis Kelce dominance. Mike on the other hand, has had the least success picking fantasy TEs, perhaps its time to switch up the strat. Fantasy defense I thought would have really evened out over a long enough period but apparently some of us are much luckier than others.

Transactions

There were no trades this week. Mike and I almost came to an agreement, but got lazy on Saturday and didn’t get it through before kickoff on Sunday. Nico Collins and Omarion are on the block.

Oronde Gadsden II was this week’s hot pickup, garnering $45 it total bids and going to MBC for $28. Jeff added Tyrod Taylor for $15 just before he popped up on the injury report on Wednesday. Three teams wanted the privilege of facing Cam Ward, bidding on the Colts DST, but yall were too cheap and lost out to a $3 bid from Token Female.

Matchups

Team Waiver Wire (135.2) walked in a win against Team Jeff (96.62). Team Jeff shot out of the gates on Thursday night with Joe Flacco’s (25.98) dissection of the Steelers secondary to the tune of 342 yards and 3 TDs. The first of those TDs was to Tee Higgins (21.6) who I knew Jeff had rostered. I was bitching out loud to Jess about how “of course he goes off against me”, to which Jess replied, “yes dear the world is out to get you”. Little did she know, Jeff sat Higgins, a clear sign the world is on my side. Both defenses in this matchup scored. Jeff’s Patriots DST (20) walked in a TD in the second consecutive week Cam Ward appeared to literally just drop the ball when trying to leave the pocket. Team Waiver Wire’s Cleveland DST (26) housed a bad Tua interception after the game was already out of reach. In the same game since the Dolphins offense was so terrible, Quinshon Judkins (26.4) had the chance to walk in three TDs. Team Jeff was dragged down Sunday by four single digit duds. Justin Fields (4.04) was pulled before he could accumulate his usual 4th quarter garbage points after passing for only 46 yards. Ashton Jeanty (4.4) went down with the Raiders ship who against Kansas City had just three first downs the entire game. Team Waiver Wire’s Drake Maye (23.08) meanwhile couldn’t be stopped, finishing 21/23 and setting a Patriots record for completion percentage in a game. Without significant production from Team Jeff, this matchup was pretty much wrapped up before Sunday dinner.

Too Many Bengals (145.22) stomped LamaRB1 and the Funky Bunch (63.28). Remember when I flamed Jeff in week 3 for having such a bad week? Well Mike scored nearly two points less this week, however this came with a trio of bye weeks, two injuries, and a surprise inactive (Meyers). Josh Jacobs (18.8) and Tony Pollard (12.1) accumulated a respectable amount of points, yet accounted for nearly 50% of Mike’s total output for the week. In London, BTJ (6.1) battled a shoulder injury and a tough Rams secondary, and in New York, Mason Taylor (6.1) though the supposed top pass catcher in Garrett Wilson’s absence, needed Fields to leave the game to start earning targets. Meanwhile, TMB had a wonderful week starting with Ja’Marr Chase (38.1) seeing 23 targets on Thursday night thanks in part to a condensed playbook and an apparently widely predictable Steelers defensive gameplan. Chase had the same amount of targets as Jalen Hurts, Tua, and Drake Maye had pass attempts. TMB rejoiced with the return of Rashee “Two TD” Rice (23.2) and can expect to continue getting great games from both Javonte (18.8, RB6) and Dak (23.26, QB2) thanks to the Cowboys terrible defense. TMB accumulated the fourth highest score this week, yet could have gotten a victory with just Chase, Dak, and any single other starter.

Team Tendonitis (174.92) muscled past Hamas Rockets (157.88) in the game of the week. Both teams saw some big boy fantasy performances starting with Team Tendonitis’s Jaylen Warren (19.8) on Thursday gathering over 150 scrimmage yards. The Rockets answered back early Sunday in London with five TD passes from Stafford (27.38), and a trio of two TD days from Ferguson (21.9), Olave (26.8), and AJ Brown (28.1). Team Tendonitis was no stranger to multiple TD games from players either with Davante Adams (26.5) receiving three of Stafford’s five TDs, and Trey McBride (29.4) starting to find the endzone more consistently. Hamas Rockets had a dud from Kendrick Bourne (3.4) that was matched by Team Tendonitis’s Jerry Jeudy (3.7). Heading into Monday night, The Rockets had a slight lead with David Montgomery and the Lions defense up against Gibbs on the Seahawks defense. Though the Lions defense shut down MVP Baker to the tune of two turnovers and four sacks, the night belonged to Jahmyr Gibbs. Gibbs collected 218 scrimmage yards including a 78 yard scamper in the second quarter. The resulting 36.8 fantasy points wrapped up a victory for the Lions as well as Team Tendonitis.

We go from Matchup of the Week to the Toilet Bowl, where Mr. Big Chests (94.56) edged out Mrs Goff (88.6). Mrs Goff had a decent game from ARSB (20.6) and the return of CeeDee (22) thanks to a 74 yard TD in the first quarter. Beyond that, however, the squad was dismal. Goff (11.34) was unnecessary against a struggling Bucs offense, and Kyren (8.5) was robbed on multiple goal to go situations by fades to Davante Adams. A bye week for James Cook led to a bold Bhayshul Tuten (2.2) start while Mike Evans (0) broke his collarbone immediately after returning from his hamstring injury. Things weren’t much better for MBC. Like Mrs Goff’s squad, there were some good games such a Daniel Jones (22.22), Jayden Daniels (17.74), and Ladd McConkey (15.7). But no other player cracked 13 points. George Pickens (12.2) saw three deep shots, collecting two, getting a 37 yard DPI call on one, and not scoring on any of them. Rico Dowdle (10.6) still saw 17 carries, but didn’t keep the magic 150+ yard game streak alive in Chubba’s return even though he still averaged over 4.5 yards per carry. George Kittle (0) was very impressive run blocking for CMC in his return but did not catch either of his targets. On Monday night, after the injury to Mike Evans, Mrs Goff needed 20 points from CJ Stroud, a mark he has rarely hit in his career, yet well exceeded his last game (28.76). Though the Texans were down 14 in the first quarter, Stroud simply couldn’t find the endzone enough with only a single passing TD, 14.66 points, and a fifth straight loss for Mrs Goff.

I Digg Christians (165.74) crucified $81k Team (95.12). Early Sunday, IDC’s Keenan Allen (28.9) drew up some retro plays with Justin Herbert thanks to an early deficit against the AFC leading Indianapolis Colts. At the same time, however, they didn’t get any production from Darren Waller before he strained his pec and left the game, not that there was going to be any Dolphins passing offense anyway. As $81k Team is well aware, Tua (1.6) couldn’t get anything going in poor weather conditions against the Browns. Even though Achane (12.8) did rush for 82 yards, the Dolphins never even sniffed the endzone. $81k Team’s only respectable performances came from the Jaxson Dart (29.42) Wandale (15.5) connection. To his credit, he finally decided to not start both Seattle RBs, yet unfortunately, Steve started the wrong one with KW3 (6.6) getting the nod over Charbonet (19.5) and his two TDs. This matchup tilted suddenly and persistently in IDC’s favor with just over 5 minutes in the Broncos Giants game with the Broncos down 26-8 with the ball 2nd and goal from the 7 yard line. From that moment, Bo Nix scored two rushing and 1 passing TDs in rapid succession thanks in part to a bone headed interception from Jaxson Dart. The Broncos stormed back to take the lead with under 2 minutes to play, but promptly let up a TD drive. With 37 seconds left and zero timeouts, Nix calmly moved the Broncos within FG range in two plays. Nix ended the week as the highest scoring player with 39.96 points. If that wasn’t a wide enough gap, for good measure on Sunday night IDC added the second highest scoring player on the week in CMC and his 201 scrimmage yards, two TDs, and 39.1 fantasy points.

Token Female (137.84) swept aside Some Whiffs Here And There Club (118.36). SWHATC took one too many dips in the Kenny Gainwell (3.5) pool this week putting them in a tough spot to start the week. In London, Token Female’s Trevor Lawrence (17.64) benefitted from garbage time in a game where the Jags didn’t have a remote chance of winning. SWHATC’s Xavier Worthy (7.8) stepped aside with the arrival of Rashee Rice, and JK Dobbins (9) didn’t get anything going in a pass first game script against the Giants. Meanwhile for Token Female, Kelce (8.4) had a decent game, yet Breece Hall (7.2) remains on an inept offense while Saquon Barkley (5.2) has yet to break long rushing TDs that were hallmarks of his special season last year. You know who is getting those long rushing TDs? Jonathan freaking Taylor (34.2). JT had his third game with three rushing TDs this year and is on pace for 24 on the season which would tie for the fifth most of all time. JT has more fantasy points through seven weeks (179.2) than JK Dobbins, KW3, Jordan Mason, and Rico Dowdle had the entire 2024 season. Having put the Colts up by so many points, Token Female’s Justin Herbert 29.9 was passing early and often, racking up 420 passing yards. Solid games from Jordan Addison (21.8) and Cam Skattebo (18.4) left Token Female within striking distance on Monday night with JSN up against Baker and Sam LaPorta. Poor games from Baker (12.12) and LaPorta (4.5) left little drama for the final game of the week as JSN won the week for Token Female with a touchdown on his first target halfway through the first quarter.

Predictions

We went perfect last week!!! Unfortunately ESPN picks still went 5-1. The scores are 25-17 and 28-14 respectively. This week, ESPN has chosen Team Waiver Wire, LamaRB1 and the Funky Bunch, Token Female, Some Whiffs Here and There, $81k Team, and MBC. I’ll take Team Tendonitis over Token Female, and IDC over SWHATC.

Dad Joke of the Week

Riley recently got in trouble with the police for refusing to sleep in his bassinet last night. He was resisting a rest.

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