Home stretch

Things can get funky in a 10 team league as with only 2 weeks before playoffs, 6-8 could make playoffs and technically 8-6 could miss. Congrats to Bill’s Bitch who by overcoming his name’s sake has clinched playoffs and effectively a first round bye. (would have to lose both with Randy winning both). 7 teams are effectively vying for the last spot with JCS having the toughest path. They need to win out and have Steve lose out, or have Cody/Alan lose out and catch them in points for (~80 points behind both). I’m also going to call the two 8-win teams (Randy/Cody hates America) effectively clinched with ESPN agreeing with me at 99% playoff probabilities. The 4 battling teams are all in separate matchups the next two weeks meaning no more do or die games.

Matchups

Da Bearers (155.52) wiped the floor with Alan’s Seven Win Weiners (115.7). The week started off strong with the Cowboys DST (14) finding a late pick-six on Thanksgiving and Garrett Wilson (17.4) turning 179 yards from Tim Boyle into a decent fantasy day. Meanwhile for the Weiners, Zach Charbonnet (9.8) didn’t quite get it done as the lead back and Tua and Hill (33.22 combined points) haven’t had a smash game for a little. Rhamondre Stevenson (21.7) somehow managed over 20 points with a Patriots offense that looks led by Matt Canada. Chris Olave (18.4) was on his way to a monster day before he was knocked out with a concussion, but it likely didn’t matter thanks to 5 different Da Bearers players cracking 20 points. Da Bearers survived an absolute dud from Joshua Dobbs thanks to 4 combined TDs from King Henry and Jonathan Taylor. Patrick Mahomes (20.82) put on a show for the first time since week 7 willing his team and Da Bearers to victory.

Now Formerly Bills Bitch (169.1) continues to dominate the league, vanquishing their demons this week against Team Tallman Urgent Care (113.48). Tallman escaped the week without injury but also without many points. Over 75% of their fantasy points came from Their 2 Lions (Goff/Dmont) and 2 49ers (CMC/Deebo). The rest of the squad were single digits including Austin Ekeler (9.4). Ekeler, averaging <4 yards per carry, seems to have picked up a fumbling and dropping problem lately. Effectively eliminated from playoffs, Tallman still has a chance to play spoiler against Steve and Cody. Jeff meanwhile continues to roll led by Jalen Hurts (34.5), Mike Evans (25), and Keenan Allen (22.6). The only underperformers were George Kittle (4.9) and Breece Hall (11.9). They once again made perfect start/sit decisions by throwing 4 WRs into the lineup instead of Minshew (14.64).

The Steagles (147.26) are on a heater, this week jeopardizing Cody’s playoff chances (142.72). The Steagles were hard carried by Kyren Williams (38.4) who was only outscored this week by Josh Allen, even besting Jalen Hurts’ 5 TD game. Speaking of Josh Allen (39.66), the Underperformers benefitted from The Stallion with 5 TDs of his own, and in similar fashion, connecting with Gabe Davis in OT would have won it for the Bills and for Cody. DeVonta Smith (23.6) and LaPorta (17.7) have returned to relevance for the Underperformers but Puka (6.7) and Javonte (10.1) have had more bad games than good lately. The Steagles saw down games from Brian Robinson Jr. (8.4) and DK Metcalf (6.2), though rookies Tank Dell (17.2) and Bijan Robinson (27.3) are now focal points on their respective teams. The Underperformers went with Brock Purdy (10.46) in rainy Seattle over Jordan Love (26.62) in a dome on Thanksgiving and did not trust Calvin Ridley (21.9) to repeat big games. However The Steagles left plenty of points on the bench also. On a two win streak, its a shame the regular season isn’t 10 games long. Steagles fun fact!! Week 2 against the New York Giants in 1943 fumbled the ball ten times, yet scored 3 4th quarter TDs to start the season 2-0.

Cody hates America (143.86) walked into the playoffs against Jesus Christ Superstars? (104.76). The Superstars were Superduds this week with many high profile players falling way below expectation. Ja’Marr Chase (12.1) lucked out with a pair of deep receptions tipped by DBs as the Jake Browning led Bengals were expectedly inefficient. Saquon Barkley (6.2) also suffered from starting QB issues and Cooper Kupp (4.8) apparently isn’t as good of a receiver as Kyren Williams who received more targets than Kupp. D’Andre Swift (9.4) was perhaps the most surprising dud as instead of checking the ball down, Hurts carried the ball 14 times leaving Swift with 1 reception and zero TDs. CJ Stroud (30.86) dropped his second highest game of the year thanks to a rushing TD and the rest of the squad sans the Jags DST (3) cracked double digits. Jerome Ford currently holds the “Mr. Consistent” crown, scoring exactly 11.9 points each of the last 3 weeks while Cody hates America’s other 3 RBs racked up 12 points from catches alone.

Wide Titys Tied Biddies (131.92) scored his second victory against Token Female (126.68) this week, doing so with a combined 5.7 point margin. WTTB stormed ahead early with Dak Prescott (32.24) stunting on the Washington Commanders. Token Female meanwhile accumulated some decent scores from Michael Pittman Jr. (20.7), Trey McBride (13), and Pacheco (25.9) on Sunday. She also finally didn’t start two Raiders WRs and left the wrong one on the bench (Adams - 12.3; Meyers - 20.1). WTTB had a pair of poor RB performances from Joe Mixon (8) and James Conner (7.2), but Jaylen Waddle (19.4) was heavily targetted on Black Friday. Like in the other league, Token Female was reliant on Justin Herbert having a great game. Though he played well, the team around him did not contribute and Ekeler and Quentin Johnston had drops and Ekeler fumbled. Meanwhile Lamar Jackson (14.98) in the same game scored just enough hand Steve a win.

Trades and Waiver Wire

Trade deadline tonight, I sent at least 4 offers, please counter. Not sure I’m winning a championship with Charbonet at RB…

There were only 4 claims made and 2 of them were for the Bucs DST (against Carolina) for $3, going to the worse team in WTTB. Beware the interim coach force multiplier for Carolina though…

Sit Your Superstar

Last week’s SYS was Javonte Williams. Javonte finished with 10.1 points and 3.6 yards per carry on 21 total opportunities. The Broncos did score 2 rushing TDs, but neither were from Williams and he did not score less than Jaylen Warren (7.2)

This week’s Sit Your Superstar is Jeff’s entire team. Its terrible and there’s really no reason to start any of them (please don’t hurt me). For real though its Matt Stafford against Cleveland who can be beat with the run game and superstar Kyren Williams. Furthermore, PJ Walker probably wont score much leaving little pressure on LA to do so. I’d rather start Romeo Doubs against KC even if it will snow Sunday night in Green Bay.

Weekly predictions

We went 3-2 this week again for 32-28 overall. ESPN projections three-repeated 4-1 for 35-25. This week’s winners are: Alan’s Seven Win Weiners (though tempted to take Jeff here), Cody hates America, WTTB, Da Bearers, and JCS

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