The Boys Fantasy Football League Week 5 recap

Brought to you by Dave Whiff=in=ball (..close enough)

Second place (sometimes) is the first one to Lose.

Snapshot

After five weeks, only one team remains undefeated in “The Boys Fantasy Football League” - the Token Female (5-0). Despite only having made two transactional moves all year (11th of 12th, only Los Gatos Kitties has made fewer), Emily’s well-rounded team has been carried by her strong drafting accumen. This can be a reminder to all of us that sometimes a little less weekly involvement can end up being more beneficial in the long-run. The Token Female shouted out her team’s defensive prowness on “social” this week - but she hasn’t been entirely benefitting from a weak schedule as three other teams have had fewer points scored against them so far this year.

With Justin Jefferson’s unfortunate trip to the IR this week (and speculation that the Vikings could keep him out all year if they continue to spiral), Token’s strongest contender in the Jagermeister division - I Pickens Boogies (4-1) took a massive blow to their rest-of-season outlook. Everyone else in this division is bunched up at 2-3 or 1-4 looking to position themselves to stay afloat for the playoff picture in the coming weeks. Token Female could run away with this division if Jefferson’s clogs up the Boogies.

In the Red Bull dvision The Buzzsaw (4-1) was unable to open a two game lead on the rest of the division this week, with the loss to Mr. Big Chest (4-1). Due to the top-heavy nature of the league (four team 4-1 or better), the four teams at 2-3 all are tied for the 6th and final playoff spot. No one is techincally out of it yet - but Fields of Dreams (0-5) took a massive blow with a heartbreaking loss this week to Bidet to Be Gay (2-3).

Weekly Matchups Recap

Game of Week - Bidet to Be Gay (178.16) d. Fields of Dreams (177.12)

In what was a battle of two teams at the bottom of the league (by record only) coming into the week, this matchup turned into what was potentially the match of the year. Fields of Dreams took a commanding 90+ point lead on Thursday night behind a historic performance from D.J. Moore (8/230/3) and 32.98 points from his stack partner Justin Fields. Bidet to Be Gay did “call his shot” on Thursday night after the commanding lead that Fields of Dreams took, saying something along the lines of that he was feeling a 165 point week anyways, so now it was at going to be interesting.

Well as it turned out Steve actually undersold his team as they scored 178.16 points on the week* (second highest weekly score of the year so far - next to The Buzzsaw’s 189.34 points scored in Week 4). And they needed every last one of them. The Burrow/Chase stack, plus solid contributions from the rest of the lineup (no other player scoring less than 8 points) put Bidet in a true 50/50 position heading into the Monday Night game between the Packers and Raiders. While Fields of Dreams was in the books, Bidet was down 10.56 points with his flex still spot still to play. Bidet originally had Aaron Jones who carried a questionable tag into Monday in the flex, but when Jones was announced out - he pivoted to Cristian Watson on his bench. [As Alan pointed out this week - that’s why you keep the flex spot open!]

The Monday night sweat of Watson chasing 10.56 points was its own wild twist and turn inside this roller coaster of a matchup. For 3-quarters of a pathetical football viewing experience, Watson only had 2 catches for 9 yards and it looked as if Bidet would fall short and both teams would square up at 1-5. But then Watson beat busted coverage from the Raiders late in the game, and was sprinting for what looked like it was going to be an 80-yard uncontested TD. But Marcus Peters somehow ran down Watson, horse-collared him and prevented a touchdown, limiting the catch to a 77-yard scoreless reception. This left Bidet to be Gay down <1 point, and on the verge of a gut-wrenching loss. But only minutes later, midway through the fourth quater Watson caught a simple up and out which secured victory for Bidet to Be Gay and kept Mike dreaming of his first win this year.

*Note that Steve’s trade to acquire Travis Kelce (22.7) this past week was a key factor in his win. Had he rolled with his lineup at the week’s start he would have lost. This goes to show you that sometimes it’s not all about sitting back and being passive. Sometimes you have to grind week-by-week and that can be more beneficial in the long run.

Token Female (113.56) d. Team Jeff (106.4)

The second closest matchup of the week kept Token Female undefeated at 5-0. Heading into the primetime games (SNF, MNF) this matchup was a virtual toss up as Token Female only had a 1 point lead (90 to 89) it was a simple 2v2 of Jimmy G & Deebo Samuel vs. the Dallas duo of Ceedee Lamb & Tony Pollard for Team Jeff. As San Francisco laid down a total ass-whooping on Dallas on SNF (and now has the media asking if Dak really is the guy for Dallas’ future; and also moved Brock Purdy to the 3rd betting favorite in Vegas for MVP), Pollard and Lamb had a hard time getting anything going. While technically Emily needed 4+ points from Mr. Handsome on MNF, it was all but guaranteed sans an Aaron Rodgers-like injury from Garappolo. In the end Jimmy G drooped 11.72 to secure victory. (I can’t think of guy who would be more likely to score 11.72 points week-in-week out than Garrapolo). Token Female moved to 5-0 with only getting 9.5 points from Jonathan Taylor and James Cook combined, mainly because Stefon Diggs continues to be a DAWG.

Team Jeff was boom-or-bust this week, and ultimately a little to much busting (that’s what she said?) let him down. It’s a bit early in the season, but the fat 0 from Huntry Henry might end up being the difference between Team Jeff making the playoffs or not at the end of the season. Two thirds of Team Jeff’s starters scored less than 9 points, and that’s ultimately a recipe for disaster. On the bright side Breece Hall looked like a Top 3 RB finally looking healthy for the Jets. Unfortunately Taylor Swift didn’t make the trip to Minneapolis, and Patrick Mahomes had a little less incentive to sling the ball around to his BFF Kelce, and only ended up with 19.24 points - a little lite when you need your #1 pick to carry you in tight weeks.

Russia Invaders (108.9) d. Cmac at #9? (99.8)

Speaking of boom or bust …. The Russian Invaders, eh? Four different starters dropped 20+ while four others scored less than 3pts each & Dak tallying only 7.32. Jeremy even decided to 💪 flex 💪 on Cody starting an injured Saquon Barkley in his flex spot. If the Russian Invaders are fully equipped each week by their commander-in-chief they could be a dangerous team moving forward, oddly being led by a Panthers stack including 33-year old Adam Thielen who is now avering 20PPG. (I think I saw today he is on pace for 120+ catches, which seems absurd).

This matchup, like the prior ones, had some primetime drama too. Between the SNF and MNF games, Cmac at #9? had Purdy, CMC, and Jake Ferguson; pitted against Prescott and Kittle. Ultimately it seemed as if the Niners were making sure each of their studs “got theirs” and it was Kittle’s turn (3/67/3). The Iowa product’s big game (27.7pts) dampened CMC’s output (13.8) and ultimately did in Cmac at #9?.

Cmac at #9? was not helped out this week by steaming Washington’s DST, who posted a negative -4 vs. Justin Fields (who has been sacked 1,374 times in his 3 year careers). Had Cody retained his DST from last week he still would have lost by <1 points. So maybe it was a little less heartbreaking this way? Had Cmac at #9? spent his $4 waiver bid on the other top streaming DST for the week, the Dolphins (who Mr. Big Chest won at $2), Cody would have been victorious. I think there is a joke somewhere in here about the defensive unit from Washington D.C. falling flat on its face in defeat to the Russian Invaders. Maybe it’s Trumps fault? Or Hillarys? Anyways…

I Pickens Boogies (150.04) d. PP Hurts (114.38)

Boogies team balled out this week and this matchup was never really close. (We had a few of those this week). Dropping 150+ pts and only getting 12.4 from both RBs, another 5.8 from its top player Justin Jefferson, and having star Austin Ekeler on bye, is an impressive all around team performance (welcome to 2023 George Pickens and Darren Waller). Getting 22pts from your DST always is always icing on the cake. (Can we all agree that the Patriots dynasty now was Tom Brady and not Bill?)

I feel for the roughed up PP Hurts. It’s tough to stay competitive in a season long fantasy league when losing key players so early in the season to year-long injuries. That said, Max has cobbled together a respectable lineup and is battling. Putting up 114.38 is pretty close to a median/average weekly score. A lack of production from pass-catchers (Zay 12.3, Atwell 8.9, Engram 6.8, Boyd 9.9) was unable to support a strong week from Jalen Hurts and the RBs. Even if PPs had played Zack Moss and his 33.5 outburst over another skill player, it wouldn’t have made a difference.

Las Gatos Kitties (134.04) d Zach White Commanders (97.96)

The Kittens of Las Gatos are quickly turning into fully matured cats in this league quickly. The Kitties roll out a ridiculously young team each week (Love, Bijan, Aiyuk, Olave, LaPorta, Achane, Stroud; as the core), but they are producing like veterans. Achane and LaPorta are probably the two most impressive rookies this season and bouyed the Kitties with a combined 40.2pts again in Week 5. Josh Jacobs is the veteran of this team and finally showed up for real for the first time in 2023 putting up 19.9pts. Olave and Aiyuk only combining for 19 points and the team still combing for >134 points is an outcome I’d take every week.

The Zach White Commanders, like the Russian Ivanders, also decided to start a player (ARSB) ruled out before kickoff and had to endure a 0.0 in the lineup. Unlike Jeremy, it was not quite as much of a flex when you lose. Thankfully for Zach, the marginal difference of having inserted KaDarius Toney or Robert Woods wouldn’t have made a difference having lost by 37+ points. Kyren Williams coming back to earth and not scoring 40+ points this week cooled off the Commanders - who may be the beneificary of Boogies loss of Jefferson moving forward, having rostered both Hockenson and Addison. The Commanders still stand as the only 3-2 team in the league and currently retain the 5th playoff spot.

Mr. Big Chest (146.92) d. The Buzzsaw (69.66)

Buzzsaw’d.

Mr. Big Chest, led by Tyreek Hill dropping a pedestrian 32.1 points easily defeated the previously undefeated Buzzsaw - who fell completely flat this week across th board. The only respectable performance from a starting skill position player was Puka Nacua’s 20.1. A pretty severe injury to Anthony Richardson early in the Colts game obviously didn’t help this week, and hurts Buzzsaw’s season long outlook but this matchup was never in question. MBC’s running back situation has stabled quite nicely after the acquistion of De’Andre Swift and return of Alvin Kamara last week. MBC has the leg up on a tiebreak situation now for divisional implications later in the regular season.

Trades & Waivers

I didn’t double check - but I’m like 95% sure there were no trades this week. (But can confirm there were a bunch of offers sent - wink* wink*)

It was a pretty active waiver wire week on Wednesday morning. There were 11 different moves made by the leagumates. Team Jeff was the most busy, acquring Jeff Wilson Jr. (eventual Mia #1RB, maybe?) for $12, and Logan Thomas for $11. Team Jeff beat out Mr. Big Chest for $1 for JWJ.

Updated Power Rankings (Dave’s Addition)

Mr. Big Chest (4-1) - Call it concieted… but at 4-1 with a run-rate projected lineup of 140+ I think it’s deserved.
The Buzzsaw (4-1) - The loss of Richardson probably drops Buzzsaw’s run-rate PPG from 140+ to mid 130s+, but there is a ton of upside still in this lineup for the team with the most total points scored on the year.
Token Female (5-0) - I know, I know .. the only undefeated team at 3? I think the top two lineups are marginally better, but I would not want to face this lineup. If JT gets going and resembles his 2021 self at all, Token Female probably has a legitimate claim to the top spot.
Bidet to Be Gay (2-3) - Maybe controversial given the record but this team is as good as any other one moving forward in my opinion. The acquistion of Kelce, for trading off WR depth this past week boosts the run-rate projected starting lineup to over 140/week moving forward at full-health.
Zach White Commanders (3-2) - Can Kyren Williams hold it together and be a 20pt/week player and can ARSB stay healthy? If so, ZWC probably is ranked a bit low. Hockenson and Addison should receive real tangible weekly boosts from the JJ injury.
I Pickens Boogies (4-1) - Ranking is bouyed by the current record - which is the benefit of a hot start. IPB can drop a few games and still remain in the playoff hunt, and hoping for a Jefferson return in 4-5 weeks.
Team Jeff (1-4) - There i a significant amount of upside to this team, as Breece Hall looked like he will dominate the Jets backfield moving forward, and Mahomes, Pollard, and Lamb all likely will start to heat up here as the season progresses.
Cmac at #9? (2-3) - Never sell a team with a 50pt burger waiting to be dropped by CMC short. That said I surely bet Cody would like to have his 2nd round pick, Trevor Lawerence, back. Benching your 2nd round pick every week, when it could have been Tyreek Hill, JaMarr Chase, Davante Adams, or Stefon Diggs is a rough pill to swallow.
Las Gatos Kitties (2-3) - Would have ranked higher if not for the Achane injury, which appears it will be semi-long term.
Russian Invaders (2-3) - Getting a healthy Saquon Barkley back would be huge boost to this team moving forward. Can Thielen keep averaging 20PPG?
Fields of Dreams (0-5) - Despite the record is 7th in total points scored this year. A team starting Josh Dobbs and Jonnu Smith in the year 2023 though probably leaves more to be desired.
PP Hurts (1-4) - Starting Zack Moss in the superflex position? In this economy?

Predictions We split even this week at 3-3 for a 18-12 total. ESPN projections went 4-2 for a slight lead at 19-11. This week winners will be: The Buzzsaw, Team Jeff, Las Gatos Kitties, Zach White Commanders, Bidet to Be Gay, Mr. Big Chest.

All those are Dave’s picks but I agree with them. Steve is literally playing 3 offenses, but they all have good matchups this week.