Playoff picture

Before we go over this week’s matchups, lets look at the playoff picture; the top team from each division gets a bye-week, then the next four best records get in. The only tie-breaker is points for. Here are the current standings:

East West
(8-5) Still the Gr8est Show On Paper (8-5) Team Tallman Kiss My A$$
(7-6) Token Female (8-5) Red Solo Kupp
(6-7) Team Bubble Wrap (8-5) Double Consonants
(6-7) How Do I Butt Stuffed? (7-6) Seattle Kraken
(2-11) What if it was all a dream (5-8) Tony Hawk’s Pro facemasking

Congrats to Still the Gr8est Show On Paper for clinching a first round bye, and Team Tallman Kiss My A$$, Red Solo Kupp, and Double Consonants for clinching a playoff spot. The last two playoff spots are up for grabs between four teams! This should be an exciting week 14. Here are the scenarios for each team:

Token Female:

  • Win and in
  • Lose and stay ahead of two of Cody (too many points), Steve (41pt behind), and Jeff (33pt behind)

Seattle Krakens:

  • Win and in
  • Lose and Emily loss and stay ahead of Emily (33pt lead) and Steve (11pt behind)

How Do I Butt Stuffed?:

  • Win and stay ahead of two of Cody (70pt behind), Jeff (11pt lead), and Emily (41pt lead)

Team Bubble Wrap:

  • Win and don’t get outscored by 70 from Steve if Steve wins

Week 13 games

Red Solo Kupp (169.02pts) took down Double Consonants (112.52pts). Red Solo Kupp got a strong performance from Kyler Murray (30.82pts) in their return to the field and the first time facing against Double Consonants who drafted and traded Kyler. Double Consonants didn’t get much production from recently acquired Cordarrelle Patterson (12.6pts) and DeAndre Hopkins (11.2pts). This pretty much knocks Double Consonants out of contention for the bye week, but both these teams are playoff bound and focused on future production.

Seattle Krakens (117.12pts) took down How Do I Butt Stuffed? (92.82pts) in a battle of 6-6 teams. Butt Stuffed have 5 players in the single digits with and early injury to Adam Thielen not helping the cause. The Krakens got a strong performance from Gronk (21.8pts) and the occasional return to fantasy relevance from Mike Williams (16pts). Shoutout to the Kraken for starting Chase Claypool (7.4pts) over Trevor Lawrence (6.8pts). The Krakens set themselves up for a win and in scenario next week against Team Bubble Wrap (6-7) while Butt Stuffed has to face Red Solo Kupp (8-5) who is fighting for a bye and not taking the week off.

It a matchup of the Meyer household and the other 6-6 teams, Team Bubble Wrap (140.62pts) handed the pants over to Token Female (158.7pts). Bubble Wrap got a monster game from George Kittle (39.6pts) for a 36pt advantage at the tight end position. However, Token Female flexed Dallas Goedert (28.5pts) and smashed the QB matchups as Bubble Wrap was forced to start Mike “long neck” Glennon (5.48pts). It ultimately didn’t matter which QB Bubble Wrap got off the waiver wire though since Token Female got 57pts from the Vikings duo of Alexander Mattison and Justin Jefferson. Token Female secures the win and in scenario this week with the easiest matchup record wise (ZWFT 5-8) of the 6-7 / 7-6 teams.

Still the Gr8est Show On Paper (166.8pts) nearly doubled up What if it was all a dream (86pts) to clinch the first round bye in the (l)East division. Enjoy the next two weeks off. Nearly three thirty-burgers from Chris Godwin (30.2pts), Diontae Johnson (30.5pts), and Javonte Williams (29.8pts) could have gotten the job done alone. What if it was all a dream continues to struggle without two startable QBs, but has one more chance to beat a member of Emily’s family in week 14 against Team Tallman Kiss My A$$.

Team Tallman Kiss My A$$ (163.22pts) ended the playoff dreams of the crowd’s favorite underdog Zach White Football Team (124.2pts). All of Tallman’s team showed up except Darnell Mooney (7.7pts) and Brandin Cooks (8.4pts). Meanwhile, the ZWFT had 6 players underscore their projections. At least the win was clean and didn’t come down to a start/sit decision. Shoutout Team Tallman for getting it done without their two top backs Dalvin Cook and D’Andre Swift, and essentially giving themselves a win and bye against the league’s worst team.

Trade recap / Waiver Wire

The trade deadline saw one major trade:

How Do I Butt Stuffed? Double Consonants
Receives Stefon Diggs Receives DeAndre Hopkins
Receives Ezekiel Elliot Receives Cordarrelle Patterson
Receives Emanual Sanders Receives Tony Pollard
Receives Taysom Hill Receives Tyrod Taylor

Shoutout to Still the Gr8st Show On Paper for dropping AJ Brown last week without me noticing and getting him back on the team this week.

Predictions update

For every matchup this season, I will pick a winner and keep track of ESPN’s projected winner. ESPN’s projected winner will be updated after the week in case of last minute substitutions, but I will make my picks based on starting roster each Wednesday.

Week 13 I went 3-2 for a total of 17-13. Here are my Week 14 winners: “Double Consonants”, “Red Solo Kupp”, “Tony Hawks Pro Facemasking”, “Team Tallman Kiss My A$$”, and “Team Bubble Wrap”. Playoffs for Cody and Jeff!

Here are Bill’s picks: “Paper, Tallman, Pro Facemasking, Kupp, and Krakens get the Ws this week.”

Updated: