Extended absence

I haven’t written these columns in nearly two months. At the time I stopped, I calculated they take over an hour per league, and I was trying to write them both at once. Life caught up to me when I decided to take a break from my weekly fantasy write-ups, but even as things stabilized I found myself in a lull. I haven’t completely broken from that lull and struggle to motivate myself for work, running, chores, or even thinking. Hopefully this column’s return sparks something, anything really to give myself an interest again. It helps that I sit alone at the top of the league with an 8-4 record and can write about how great I am (hence this league’s column being released first). Enough about me, we have a lot to cover as playoffs await just two weeks away.

Playoff picture

Before we go over this week’s matchups, lets look at the playoff picture; the top team from each division gets a bye-week, then the next four best records get in. The only tie-breaker is points for. Here are the current standings:

East West
(7-5) Still the Gr8est Show On Paper (8-4) Double Consonants
(6-6) Fun with Danny SZN (7-5) Team Tallman Kiss My A$$
(6-6) How Do I Butt Stuffed? (7-5) Red Solo Kupp
(6-6) Token Female (6-6) Seattle Krakens
(2-10) What if it was all a dream (5-7) Tony Hawk’s Pro facemasking

I don’t know what’s more impressive, the fact that 12 weeks in, only one team is eliminated from playoff contention, or that ESPN gives THPF a greater playoff chance (40%) than two 6-6 teams (Token Female 23%, Seattle Krakens 32%).

There are too many scenarios to work through this week, but the matchups to keep our eyes on this week are Fun with “broken neck” Dimes Danny SZN (6-6) vs. Token Female (6-6) and Seattle Krakens (6-6) vs. How Do I Butt Stuffed? (6-6) this week, Fun with Dimes Danny SZN (6-6) vs. Seattle Krakens (6-6) next week, and both THPF games

Week 12 games

Double Consonants (122.3pts) put their superior fantasy defenses to work against Team Tallman Kiss My A$$ (99.96pts). Heading into the Thanksgiving games, I thought D’Andre Swift and David Montgomery were going to explode, since Detroit boasts an awful run defense, and Swift is king of the check downs. I even made sure those were my two running backs in my Thanksgiving DFS lineups. All seemed well as Detroit opened their drive with three checkdown passes to Swift. However, the script quickly shifted to an inept offensive slug fest when Swift injured his shoulder. They would combine for just 14.3 pts, and Alan would lose his DFS contest, but have a lead in the season-long league. A 3 running-TD performance by Leonard Fournette stifled Tom Brady’s day and a shoulder injury leading to a fumble limited Dalvin Cook’s upside leading to Team Tallman underscoring their projection by 47pts. Double Consonants had an average performance with surprising value from WRs Jaylen Waddle (career best 28.7pts) and Stefon Diggs (20.4pts).

Red Solo Kupp (179.48pts) dominated Token Female (101.88pts). Red Solo Kupp only needed four players to win with Lenny’s having a massive day against the Colts (44.1pts), and two Bengals players Joe Mixon (32.3pts) and Tee Higgins (23.4pts) putting up big numbers against some team That team must have had a bad defense, but I can’t remember their name though… Myles Gaskin had his first back-to-back good weeks of the year this week and sits as the RB 14. Yes, that’s not a typo. Is our surprise an indictment on the running back position, our level of interest in the Dolphins, or our knowledge of fantasy football? Why not all three?

What if it was all a dream (119.52pts) got their second win of the year against How Do I Butt Stuffed? (107.2pts)! We were all excited for Brian, but mostly to see another 6-6 team added to the mix. The victory wasn’t without drama, as heading into Monday night, as Butt Stuffed had about a 10pt lead with Scary Terry against Taylor Heinicke and Antonio Gibson. Gibson (23.6pts) however put up their best performance of the season to double Brian’s wins. Fun fact, Butt Stuffed started Cam Newton (6.18pts) who finished 5/21 for 92 yards, 1 rushing TD, and 2 interceptions. Given that stat line, I never would have guessed DJ Moore would finish with 4 catches for 103 yards on 10 targets (nevermind that 2 catches and 35 yards came from PJ Walker in their last two drives).

Tony Hawks Pro Facemasking (166.4pts) destroyed Seattle Krakens (110.12pts). It was a true team effort from THPF as the player with the least amount of points was Brandon Aiyuk with 12.5pts, and the most was Josh Allen with 26.7pts. THPF made the perfect start/sit decision and continues to roll. We only hope it isn’t too little too late. Seattle Krakens’ team had a bit of an off week with super stars underperforming aside from Rodgers (26.28pts) and Gronk (19.3pts). Shoutout to the Krakens for sitting Aaron Jones (2.3pts) even though they were active for Sunday’s game.

In a battle of 6-5 teams, Still the Gr8st Show on Paper (119.36pts) setup their bye-week destiny against Fun with Dimes Danny SZN (103.56pts). Win out and Shea gets a bye. A couple of duds from Jalen Hurts (6.86pts), Chris Godwin (4.7pts), and Nick Chubb (5.9pts) didn’t slow the team down as nearly every other player outscored their projections. Its a shame Fun with Dimes Danny SZN didn’t start JD McKissic (22.6pts) over Christian McCaffrey (3.5pts). What were they thinking?? There were also 5 fantasy defenses on the waiver wire that would have won Danny SZN the matchup instead of the Titans (-2pts).

Trade recap / Waiver Wire

The trade deadline approaches quickly. Once playoffs start I’ll try some way to decide a definitive winner and loser for each trade this year. All I know at the moment is I miss Joe Mixon.

This was perhaps the greatest waiver week of all since there were many injuries to lead running backs. Chubba Hubbard (2 claims), Jamaal Williams (5 claims), and Alexander Mattison (7 claims) were hot commodities this week. Hubbard went to Shea, Jamaal went to the Krakens, and Mattison went to Token Female.

Predictions update

For every matchup this season, I will pick a winner and keep track of ESPN’s projected winner. ESPN’s projected winner will be updated after the week in case of last minute substitutions, but I will make my picks based on starting roster each Wednesday.

Week 5 I went 1-4 for a total of 14-11. Here are my Week 13 winners: “Double Consonants”, “Still the Gr8st Show On Paper”, “Tony Hawks Pro Facemasking”, “Seattle Krakens”, and “Token Female”

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