Monday Night Heartbreak

Seattle Krakens (133pts) smacked Alans Winning Weiners (106pts). The matchup ultimately came down to the receivers. Fantasy Super Star Mike Williams dropped 33pts, while Rookie Sensation Ja’Marr Chase has 4 TDs with as many catches as his position rank through three weeks. Mike Evans had nearly three quarters of garbage time to rack the Krakens’ WR total to 74.3pts. Meanwhile, the Weiners again tried to big brain the flex position, assuming MIN vs. SEA would be a shootout and started K.J. Osborn from MIN. To be fair, MIN produced four pass catchers with decent fantasy finishes (Jefferson, 27pts; Thielen, 17; Tyler Conklin, 20; and Mattison, 12 just receiving), but alas none were Osborn (5pts)

How Do I Butt Stuffed? (121pts) took down Fields of Dreams (109pts), or should I say Fields of Nightmares (too easy) as rookie Justin Fields (4pts) had a horrific 9 sack NFL debut.. did I mention he’s a quarterback? Thanks to the sack yardage, Fields finished with 1 net passing yard. What makes it worse, is Taylor Heinicke rode the bench, dropping 21 garbage points of their own. Butt Stuffed moves to 3-0.

The other undefeated team, Team Tallman Kiss My A$$ (121pts), again deployed their superior fantasy defenses to hold their opponent Red Solo Kupp to 102pts. Ironically, Cooper Kupp (31pts) was used against Red Solo Kupp to take them down. Bold move by Team Tallman to start the Rams DST against their QB Tom Brady, but they still ended up combining for 29 points.. That were all gained by Brady. Not like the 3-0 starts are undeserved though as both Team Tallman and Butt Stuffed sit 1st and 2nd in points for.

Eating the Ws Until the Ls (157pts) turned in this week’s highest score to grab their first victory over Still the G8st Show On Paper (135pts) thanks in part for their trade last week for Josh Allen (37pts). Each team had a DST that feasted on rookie QBs with Cleveland and Denver against Justin Fields and Zach Wilson respectively. Man am I glad to have the Titans against Zach “pick six” Wilson this week. Lets see if Eating the Ws Until the Ls can withstand the C-Mac injury, as their RB depth looks my WR depth.

Lets file this last matchup under fantasy bad beats. Token Female (146.02pts) outlasted Tony Hawks Pro Facemasking (145.24pts) this week. Lots to cover here, but lets start with Monday night, as the score was nearly tied with THPF starting CeeDee Lamb (17.1 projected points) and Token Female starting Dallas Goedert (8.5 projected points). The game opens up with a 44 yard bomb to CeeDee, and it looks like he scores, except they rule him short. Great start! However, for the rest of that Cowboys blowout, they damn near forgot their WR existed, and down big, the Eagles were throwing with only 2 rushes being given to their lead RB. Rewind to the Baltimore game, as Token Female had Lamaar Jackson 4th & 19 at their own 16 with 26 seconds left and no timeouts, Lamaar extends the play and completes a zinger to Sammy Watkins for 36 yards. Whie this setup an NFL record 66 yard fieldgoal by Justin Tucker to win the game, it also gave Token Female the points they needed to outlast the ZWFT. Icing on the cake for this bad beat was the trading away Josh Allen (37pts) last week as their QBs scored a combined 17pts. Not only that, but if the WR upgrade they sought (Keenan Allen for Brandin Cooks) wasn’t part of the deal, they could have also won as Brandin Cooks outscored Allen by 1.7pts. All of this to send THPF to 0-3.

Trade recap / Waiver Wire

There were no trades this week. Come on guys my WRs suck, hit me with a counter please.

Half the league tried to grab Chubba Hubbard with THPF being awarded him. I guess he deserves it after this week. Cole Beasly had three teams claim him, and Alan’s Winning Weiners was awarded him. Unfortunately, this means my team now needs to go back to masking while in our facilities and listen to the ignorant nonsense from a priveleged child.

Predictions update

For every matchup this season, I will pick a winner and keep track of ESPN’s projected winner. ESPN’s projected winner will be updated after the week in case of last minute substitutions, but I will make my picks based on starting roster each Wednesday.

Week 3 I went 4-1 for a total of 9-6. I’d feel better about it if I wasn’t the one that lost. ESPN projections went 3-2 for a total of 8-7. Here are my Week 4 winners: “Alan’s Wining Weiners”, “Eating the Ws Until the Ls”, “How Do I Butt Stuffed?”, “Tony Hawks Pro Facemasking” (he has to win eventually, right?), and “Still the G8st Show On Paper”

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