Some close, some… not so close

Winless Weiners no more! Alan’s Winless Weiners (143pts) pulled out the victory against Tony Hawk’s Pro Facemasking (139pts). His stubborn ass won’t let go of Marquez Callaway’s (2.8pts; position rank 103) preseason performance, but THPF won’t let go of James RB1nson (9.8pts; position rank 40). The Weiners got a boost from Cortland Sutton (25pts) picked off waivers the week prior. THPF had a solid chance Monday night though, needing only 23.6 pts from Jared Goff. Things were looking good for garbage time until a late turnover by Goff all but sealed the matchup

Team Tallman Kiss My A\((160 pts) once again fielded a superior fantasy defense. I'm not talking about their DST, they actually didn't start one. I'm talking about the 93 average points scored against them so far. Fields of Dreams (99pts) had a tough showing, with only Davante Adams (20.1) breaking 20 points. Though Team Tallman Kiss My A\) didn’t start a DST, they still had a 1 point edge at the position thanks to top 5 QB Derek Carr’s late TD to Henry Ruggs.

This week’s toilet bowl saw Still the Gr8st Show on Paper (108pts) flushed moments before Token Female (115pts). Shea’s choice of Dak Prescott (7pts) and Jalen Hurts (22pts) over Danny “run free because the defense still thinks Saquon is a threat” Jones (29pts) cost them the victory this week. Their team was “all name no game”, for a roster that had the aforementioned QBs, Alvin Kamara, Nick Chubb, Chris Godwin, George Kittle, and others, 109 pts is a major disappointment #lastyearsbestteam

Trading Rbs Need Qbs (Cody; 109pts) seemed to answer their opponent’s question this week. How Do I Butt Stuffed? (180pts) had a combined 50.3 pts from their RBs. 48 of those were from King Henry. Steve’s search for a top tier tight end netted him 24 pts, 12 more than Kyle Pitts scored whom he traded away for Kelce. Will this stand as this year’s biggest blowout? Will Cody be able to stand again after this week?

Seattle Krakens (159pts) outlasted Red Solo Kupp (143pts) this week in the closest thing we’ve seen to a Monday Night Miracle in this league this year. Entering the night, The Krakens needed about 53pts from the Green Bay Aarons. Slowly but surely, the Packer’s offense got right, and with a little bribery from The Krakens, force fed Aaron Jones on the goal line to the tune of 4 TDs. 3 of them were receiving, netting The Krakens 33pts plus yardage. Who says you can’t stack QB-RB?

Trade recap / Waiver Wire

There was a single trade this week, and man did it cause a shit storm

“Tony Hawk’s Pro Facemasking” “Trading Rbs Need Qbs”
Receives Carson Wentz Receives Josh Allen
Receives Ty’Son Williams Receives Brandin Cooks
Receives Keenan Allen Receives Tony Pollard

Some viewed this trade as unbalanced. Personally, I think its tough to declare a trade unbalanced when it involves 2 or more players on each side. Trading players is a lot like trading stonks in my opinion. Some people think a stonk will go up, others think it will go down. Thats why some are able to sell / buy at certain prices. The only thing that’s near certain, is the price of these stonks will change. And we will track those changes here in a mid season trade analysis, so stay tuned.

Still the Gr8st Show on Paper got cukked twice, failing to claim Tony Pollard or Taylor Heinicke. Try losing more. Oh wait you did!

Predictions update

For every matchup this season, I will pick a winner and keep track of ESPN’s projected winner. ESPN’s projected winner will be updated after the week in case of last minute substitutions, but I will make my picks based on starting roster each Wednesday.

Week 2 I went 3-2 for a total of 5-5. 0.500 baby! ESPN projections are also 5-5. Here are my Week 3 winners: “Alan’s Wining Weiners”, “Token Female”, “How Do I Butt Stuffed?”, “Team Tallman Kiss My A$$”, and “Trading Rbs Need Qbs”

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