Big Games, Big Swings, Big Misses

“Long Arms Alan” was off to a strong start Thursday with Dak showing up in expected form with >32 points. He tried to big brain himself though starting Russell “Goose Egg” Gage at flex instead of a 15.4 point DJ Moore. Not like it mattered though as “Los Gatos” dropped the 2nd most points week 1 and stomped all over Alan’s long arms.

“Meme Team” should have updated their memes this week as four of their starters combined for 11.2 points including 1st round pick “Nagasaki” Harris. “BooBoo SmithShloopster” survived an injured Raheem Mostert with solid performances from Kyler Murray (37pts) and TJ Hockenson (25pts).

In this week’s toilet bowl, “Token Female” couldn’t pull out the Monday Night Miracle, falling 10 points short to “Team Jeff”. “Team Jeff” got some rookie WR help from Ja’Marr Chase, as his 50yd TD proved the difference in this one.

“Fantasy TikTokkers” is a team to watch this year. Not because they’re good, but because they selected tight ends with their 1st and 3rd round pick. If their strategy was to deprive opponents of good tight ends, they had a hell of a week 1 matchup as the “Zach White Football Team (ZWFT)” ran position rank #1 Rob Gronkowski (29pts) this week (yes its 2021). ZWFT pulled out the W despite a hobbled Saquon Barkley (4pts).

The biggest blowout was brought to you by “Afghanistan Feminists” (151pts) over “Titty Tickler” (91pts; I barely know her). “Afghanistan Feminists” even had Deebo Samuel (32pts) on their bench. Not much other than domination in this one.

The closest game was “Iron City Wet Dreams” (118pts) against “I Hate Sand” (112pts). A goose egg by Brandon Aiyuk ultimately cost “I Hate Sand” despite a herioc attempt by Darren Waller (27pts; 19 targets!) Monday night.

Trade recaps/ Waiver Wire

There was only one trade this week:

“Meme Team” “Long Arms Alan”
Receives Damien Harris Receives Cooper Kupp
Receives DJ Moore Receives Javonte Williams
Receives Marvin Jones Jr Receives Darrell Williams

Elijah Mitchell was a hot waiver commodity this week with a total of $203 FAAB bid this week! “I Hate Sand” walked away with him for $70. Time for JaMycal Hasty to take over the 49ers backfield.

Predictions update

For every matchup this season, I will pick a winner and keep track of ESPN’s projected winner. ESPN’s projected winner will be updated after the week in case of last minute substitutions, but I will make my picks based on starting roster each Wednesday.

Week 1 I went 2-4 so I’m off to a strong start already. Here are my Week 2 winners: “Los Gatos”, “Long Arms Alan”, “BooBoo SmithShloopster”, “ZWFT”, “Titty Tickler”, and “Afghanistan Feminist”.

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