A week of Monday night “What if”s

“Alan’s Winless Weiners” (157pts) fell to “Still the Gr8st Show On Paper” (169pts) this week. “Still the Gr8st Show On Paper” survived a near Monday Night Miracle, as Darren Waller (26.5pts) was one long TD away from stealing the matchup. If Waller scored the GW TD instead of Zay Jones, it would have put “Alan’s Winless Weiners” ahead. Like he would have had the speed to score, but a man can dream. Maybe next week “Alan’s Winless Weiners” will be tuned in Sunday and not start a player that didn’t play (OBJ).

The most surprising win of the week goes to “Oops, All WRs” (156pts) over “Good Luck” (122pts). Who would have thought a 6 attempt Ryan Fitzpatrick and Tyrod Taylor would combine for almost as many points as Ryan Tannehill and Big Ben? Amari Cooper’s 39 bomb helped “Oops, All WRs” secure the W. Special shout out for having the balls to play Kenyan Drake (12pts) over Saquon Barkley (3.7pts), though going forward, their team is still hurting for QB help.

The biggest stomp this week goes to “Team Tallman Kiss My A$$” (159pts) over “Seattle Krakens” (86pts). This loss is so bad I don’t think I’ve heard from the owner of “Seattle Krakens” since. Someone should check on him. What went wrong for “Seattle Krakens”? Well when your first two draft picks (Aaron Rodgers and Aaron Jones) combine for <6 points, you’re gonna have a bad time.

This week’s toilet bowl barely qualifies for the moniker. As in “The Boys” fantasy league, “Token Female” needed Lamaar to have a good Monday night to pull out the win. All Lamar had to do was outscore Derek Carr by 4, but a couple of turnovers by Lamaar late cost the Ravens and “Token Female”.

“Tony Hawk’s Pro Facemasking” (130pts) fell to “Red Solo Kupp” (147pts). “Tony Hawk’s Pro Facemasking”’s only hope was for Josh Jacobs to be sat for their toe injury Monday night. Though visibly in pain, Josh powered on for two TDs and the easy win for “Red Solo Kupp”.

Trade Recaps / Waiver Wire

There were two trades this week:

“Tony Hawks Pro Facemasking” “Good Luck”
Receives Robby Anderson Receives Mike Davis
Receives Brandon Aiyuk Receives Raheem Mostert
Receives Najee Harris Receives Tyreek Hill

As Mostert announced season ending surgery a day after this trade, it essentially ends up being Najee for Tyreek with high hopes for Aiyuk to come back strong from a hamstring injury.

“How Do I Butt Stuffed?” “Oops, All WRs”
Receives Ryan Fitzpatrick Receives Justin Fields
Receives Kenny Golladay Receives Kyle Pitts
Receives Travis Kelce Receives Davante Adams

“How Do I Butt Stuffed?” gets their coveted top tier tight end, and “Oops, All WRs” continues to make moves at QB.

“Seattle Krakens” gets some help. After their pitiful week 1 giving them top waiver priority. Though half the league put in waiver claims for him, “Seattle Kraken” nabs Elijah Mitchell. “Good Luck” had 4 unsuccessful waiver claims, and “Still the Gr8st Show On Paper” had 3. Maybe they should both try to lose more.

Predictions update

For every matchup this season, I will pick a winner and keep track of ESPN’s projected winner. ESPN’s projected winner will be updated after the week in case of last minute substitutions, but I will make my picks based on starting roster each Wednesday.

Week 1 I went 2-3 this week. Here are my week 2 winners: “Alan’s Winless Weiners”, “Still the Gr8st Show On Paper”, “Good Luck”, “Team Tallman Kiss My A$$”, and “Seattle Krakens”.

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