Winning time

The dreams of all teams finishing 7-7 has finally eluded us, but five of us are tied for the worst record in the league at 5-7. Team Tallman and Runnin Kupp That Hill both advanced to 8 wins and with it have clinched playoffs. RKTH can clinch the first round bye with one more win, OR one more Steve AND Shea loss, OR outscore Steve (27pts behind) AND Shea (167pts ahead). Team Tallman has a 1 game lead in a race with Red Solo Kupp for the bye in the “Good” division. The last playoff spot is literally a race between 5 teams that are within 32 points of each other. Its win now time baby.

Waiver-wire and trades

The trade deadline is this Friday so there will probably be some movement, especially after the Thursday night game

“Wide Tiddys Tied Biddys” “Alans Five-Win Weiners”
Receives Allen Lazard Receives Diontae Johnson
“Team Tallman Kiss My A$$” “Alans Five-Win Weiners”
Receives Kyler Murray Receives Deebo Samuel

Three in a row

Team Tallman Kiss My A$$ (147.02pts) extended his current win streak to 3 to match his win streak against Alans Five-Win Weiners (130.4pts) that extends back to last year’s playoffs. The Tallman started strong with a pair of top receivers on either side of the Thanksgiving game between Buffalo and Detroit. Stefon Diggs (21.7) was sitting on about 7 points with 8 minutes left in the 4th quarter, but all WRs need is one drive like Diggs had in the 4th quarter going 4 for 29 and a go-ahead TD. Travis Kelce (15.7) had his 2nd worst game of the season but it was still enough for a 7.9pt advantage at the position. Travis Kelce OP. The Weiners put up a fight, picking up Joe Mixon’s backup for 19.3pts and trading for Garrett Wilson (26.4). I decided to play Lazard (4.4) over DJ Moore (20.3) but I don’t regret it, because then I would have lost by less than a point for the third time this season and the second time against Bill, so it was best for my emotional wellbeing. In “defenses are stupid news” my defense allowed 13 points and scored 6 while Bills allowed 33 and also scored 6.

Parity

Seattle Krakens (123.72pts) were destined to defeat Hindsight Lad (117.04pts) to bring the league’s worst record to 5-7. The Krakens survived an injury and early exit from Etienne (0.3). Their highest scorer was Rhamondre Stevenson (20.2) as it was a team effort for this win. Hindsight Lad couldnt pull out the Monday night miracle, needing about 24 points from Najee and The Muth combined on Monday night for the victory. Najee had only cracke 12 points once this season and it happened last week, but an abdominable injury knocked him out out the game after 10.9 points and in a stunning development the Stillers had the lead late with a run first game script. The Muth finished with 6.9 (.. nice) and Hindsight Lad lost (.. not nice).

Draft well, keep winning

Runnin Kupp That Hill (144.7pts) had skill position explosions again against Broncos Country Lets Ride (118.44pts). BCLR had over a 10 point advantage at QB even though RKTH actually started two QBs this week (Pickett 12.16; Tanny 12.54). BCLR had a routine big game from Justin Jefferson (29.34) on Thanksgiving, but that was matched Sunday night by Miles Sanders (31) as the Eagles rushed for the second most yards in franchise history (363) dating back to the 1940s. Sanders accounted for 143 of those yards in addition to two TDs. BCLR suffered a second consecutive dud from Dameon Pierce (4.6) but is sitting in good playoff position at 6-6 and a matchup with Em next. RKTH started 6 players they drafted, both QBs they picked off waivers, and the DST they traded for. Shoutout BCLR for sitting Russ Wilson even though he was a top 3 scorer for his team the last few weeks. Gives you an indication of how the last couple weeks have gone.

Toilet Bowl (technically)

Jesus Christ Superstars (108.84pts) lost their faith against Red Solo Kupp (127.58pts). JCS had the 2nd highest lowest score of the week (highest low was Week 8; Token Female 111pts). Mike Evans (5.1) was the biggest disappointment as he and Tom Brady just couldn’t connect despite 9 targets and 161 air yards. Tony Pollard (8.1) was also snaked twice (yes, Zeke scoring is now considered snaking Pollard). RSK got another Josh Allen performance (29.92) thanks to 10 carries for 78 yards and a rushing TD. Nick Chubb (20.2) also scored a walkoff TD for RSK and Kirk Cousins (21.86) had a better than average day to pull RSK ahead in this one. JCS has a meeting with the Tallman and Hindsight Lad to finish.

College matchup

Token Female (142.26pts) was fighting Points For this week since their opponent Wide Tiddys Tied Biddys (172.06pts) ran away with the week. Its reminiscient of Ohio State facing Michigan in football this past week where though OSU lost, they put up enough of a fight to stay in playoff contention. Token Female was carried by Josh Jacobs’ historic day (48.3) with over 300 scrimmage yards and 2 TDs including the OT walkoff. Jacobs popped up late in the week with a calf injury and should do so more often. WTTB kept it rolling with more positive regression to Chris Godwin (29), 2 TDs from Dalton Schults (19.1), and another great rushing outing from Jalen Hurts (29.82). Token Female stays within 32pts of the highest scoring 5-7 team and next faces the lowest scoring team in the league (BCLR… by >100).

Predictions

Week 12 I went 3-2 for 26-34 overall. ESPN also went 3-2 for 29-31 overall. This week’s winners are: “Alans Five-Win We-iners”, “Runnin Kupp That Hill” (ain’t broke dont fix it), “Wide Tiddys Tied Biddys”, “Token Female” (stop playing Knox), and “Jesus Christ Superstars” (Mike White implosion).

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