Parity continues

Five weeks in, 8/10 teams are either 2-3 or 3-2. Team Tallman sits on top at 4-1 and Wide Tiddy’s Tide Biddys falls to 0-5 though ESPN still has him at a 10% chance at the playoffs.

Waiver wire / trades

Waivers were busy, but the bids were low (highest bid $8). Four teams went after Jakobi Meyers and he ended up back with the team that drafted him (JCS). BCLR also had a fire sale, swapping out 5 players on waivers while also taking a swing at Meyers.

There were two trades last week

“Wide Tiddys Tied Biddys” “Team Tallman Kiss My A$$”
Receives Dallas Goedert Receives James Conner
“Jesus Christ Superstars” “Hindsight Lad”
Receives Gabe Davis Receives Najee Harris
Receives Brian Robinson Receives DJ Moore

Who needs TEs

Alan’s Two-Win Weiners (111.86pts) flushed Seattle Kraken (99.72pts) in this week’s toilet bowl. The Weiners got big games from Holywood Brown (21.8) and Jalen Hurts (27.66) who now has 6 rushing TDs and only 4 passing TDs through 5 games. The Weiners’ Darren Waller (goose) pulled his hammy on the 6th play of the game Monday night, but they had about a 30pt lead heading into that Monday night game. The Kraken couldn’t capitalize on the TE advantage as TJ Hockenson scored just 1.6pts following his massive 39pt bomb last week. The Kraken also accidentally started the Steelers DST (-4) who got decimated Sunday. The Kraken are down their top two RBs still (JT and Swift) but an injury to Damien Harris means Rhamondre Stevenson should be fantasy relevant in the near future.

Hail Mary Heartbreak

Red Solo Kupp (129.2pts) cameback in spectacular fashion against Wide Tiddys Tied Biddys (127.3pts) Monday night. Red Solo Kupp looked hot initially thanks to Josh Allens (35.16) ~350 first half yards against the Stillers and the usual big game from RB2 overall Nick Chubb (25.4). Some duds from the Jets (Conklin goose, Garrett Wilson 5.7pts) kept the game close. WTTB got some good games from recently acquired Goedert (17.5), SF DST (15), and an impressive amount of points from Kenny Pickett (12.08) for not having any TDs but had 327 passing yards. RSK needed 38.3 pts from Davante, CEH, and JuJu Monday night. The Chiefs offense was slow, and after a long TD early for Adams, things were looking great for WTTB to grab their first W of the season. ESPN’s win probability put it at 99% for the Biddys. However, a 48yd TD with 4:30 to play sealed the matchup for RSK and hopefully will convince WTTB to trade me Dak.

Status Quo

Runnin Kupp That Hill (140.94pts) kept it rolling against Token Female (117.2pts). RKTH continued to get big games from their stars Austin Ekeler (35.9), Alvin Kamara (23.4), and Cooper Kupp (25.9). Again RKTH had a less than impressive 19.94pts from their QB (Tannehill) and superflex spot (Miles Sanders) combined while also surviving a goose at the flex (Tee Higgins, injured ankle). Token Female also kept up the struggle at the TE position. Forced to not start Dawson Knox due to injury, Token Female pivoted to Mike Gesicki banking on Teddy Bridgewater to throw to the guy with 9 catches across four games entering Sunday. Teddy was injured early though and 7th round rookie Skylar Thompson only connected with Gesicki for 1 catch, 30 yards, and a TE28 finish on the week. There were 18 better options on waivers but none would have mattered

Points for all

Both Hindsight Lad (159.62pts) and Broncos Country Lets Ride (141.42pts) showed up this week. BCLR had a rough start Thursday night as their Broncos combined for only 21.56pts Thursday night. They stormed back though with huge games from Justin Jefferson (30.32) and Lenny “10 catch” Fournette (35.9). It wasn’t enough against Hindsight lad who had 5 20+ point performances (both RBs, both QBs, and DST). Hindsight lad even left Gabe Davis on the bench who had 32.1pts from only 3 catches. Remember when I predicted both teams would underscore their projections? Me neither.

Keep Talkin, Keep Winning

Team Tallman Kiss My A$$ (149.96pts) extended their win streak to 4 against Jesus Christ Superstars (115.38pts). The Superstars got some duds at running back with James Robinson (5.9) and Najee Harris (6.6) underperforming. JCS’s only good games were from Jimmy G (18.02), Saquon (19.6), and Mark Andrews (22.9). Meanwhile Tallmans good games were better from Wentz (21.86), Lockett (27.4; WR8 overall), Derrick Henry (27.2), and Travis Kelce (33.5). Kelce with his 4 receiving TDs now has more or as many TDs as 9 NFL teams combined through 5 games and yes.. the Steelers (5, 4 offensive) are one of them.

Predictions

Last week I went 3-2 in predictions for a total of 10-15. ESPN projections went a perfect 5-0 for a total of 11-14. This week winners will be: “Alan’s Two-Win Weiners”, “Hindsight Lad”, “WTTB” (now or never), “Red Solo Kupp”, and “Runnin Kupp That Hill”

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