Pop a bottle for the ‘72 Dolphins

The last undefeated teams fell this week, one in spectacular fashion

Lets start with the toilet bowl, as Team Tallman Kiss My A$$ (95pts) fell to Alan’s Winning Weiners (99.92pts). It was a clash of superior fantasy defenses as neither team could get going. Team Tallman managed to snipe Jimmy G’s calf midgame as he left with 8pts. The Weiners manufactured a faulty injury report stating Dalvin (6.4pts) was healthy when he clearly wasn’t. Team Tallman stubbornly refuses to pivot from position rank 60 Allen Robinson and The Weiners continue to flub the flex position, scoring 3.6, 4.6, 2.8, and 2.4 points at that position so far this year. Come on guys, trade me a receiver. I’m sure we’re all glad Tallman has a loss, but lets appreciate how they have over 100 less points against than the next less in only 4 weeks!

Red Solo Kupp (168pts) took down the other unbeaten team How Do I Butt Stuffed? (128pts). Kupp had a major 30pt advantage at the QB and DST positions, but still would have won without that cushion. Only two of Kupp’s players underscored their projection, and one was Matt Stafford that missed it by only 0.1 points. Meanwhile, Butt Stuffed only had three players outscore their projections; Derrick Henry, CEH, and Scarry Terry. Thank to Bridgewater’s concussion, Butt Stuffed now has two injured QBs on the bench along side Cordarrelle Patterson (position rank 3).

In a husband vs. wife matchup, Eating the Ws Until the Ls (148pts) beat their wife Token Female (121pts). They both sit at 2-2 in the same division, but Eating the Ws Until the Ls is ahead because they are a man. Bold decision by Eating the Ws to start Ben Roethlisberger (9pts, 6 from one play), but they were bailed out by Tyreek Hill’s monster performance (ironic). Duds from Marvin Jones Jr. (5pts) and Chris Carson (4pts) really cost Token Female in this matchup.

Tony Hawk’s Pro Facemasking (130pts) got their first win against Seattle Kraken (119pts). Stellar RB days from THPF helped as they had three RBs score over 20pts; James RB1nson, Austin Ekeler, and Najee Harris. Going into Monday Night, THPF needed Ekeler to outscore Mike Williams by at least 17 points. Luckily for THPF, Ekeler was the focal point of the offense, while Mike Williams seemed to be the focal point of the defense (2pts).

Fields of Dreams (140pts) overcame their QB woes this week, but it wasn’t enough to overcome Still the Gr8st Show on Paper (168pts). Still the Gr8st Show on Paper had a couple of WRs score multiple TDs and finish with over 30 points (Deebo Samuel & DJ Moore). I’m impressed their starting RBs combined for 23pts and they still dropped 168. This was a tough loss for Fields of Dreams to drop them to 1-3, but they are only 1 game out of second place in their division as 6/10 teams are 2-2 in this league.

Trade recap / Waiver Wire

There were two trades this week

“Seattle Krakens” “THPF”
Receives Carson Wentz Receives Joe Burrow
Receives Najee Harris Receives Jonathan Taylor
“How Do I Butt Stuffed?” “Team Tallman Kiss My A$$”
Receives Kenneth Gainwell Receives J.D. McKissic
Receives Sam Darnold Receives Teddy Bridgewater

Cherry popped! This is supposedly Team Tallman Kiss My A$$’s first ever fantasy football trade. Since that happened I guess I’m open to trading Kyler now.

The waiver report was long and its late, yall can check it out

Predictions update

For every matchup this season, I will pick a winner and keep track of ESPN’s projected winner. ESPN’s projected winner will be updated after the week in case of last minute substitutions, but I will make my picks based on starting roster each Wednesday.

Week 4 I went 4-1 for a total of 13-7. On a roll here. ESPN projections went 2-3 for a total of 10-10. Here are my Week 5 winners: “Alan’s Wining Weiners”, “Eating the Ws Until the Ls”, “How Do I Butt Stuffed?”, “Fields of Dreams”, and “Tony Hawks Pro Facemasking”

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